stomach virus

I missed last Saturday's class due to stomach virus. I just stayed home the whole day. I tried doing warmup exercises in the morning but my whole body was sore and aching. My stomach area was extra sore. I tried to be active the whole day but when I move I feel a lot of pain. It was better not to move at all. I also had no appetite. I felt like vomiting the whole day. It felt like my stomach stopped working. Normally, my stomach would growl once in a while, but Saturday it hardly made a sound, and was slowly ballooning. Drinking hot black tea helped a lot. By night time, I started feeling very chilly, and my fingers and toes were tingly. My whole body just wanted to curl up and sleep. And that's what I exactly did.

Sunday morning, my wife woke me up and asked me if I still wanted to go see the Dalai Lama at Rutgers, New Brunswick. I felt better, but I was not fully recovered, so I declined and stayed in bed. So she went with her friend, instead. But the most amazing thing was that almost all of the symptoms of the stomach virus were gone, like a passing storm. Sleep is a very powerful natural medicine.

good workout

Sometimes, after practice I have this weird feeling that I could do almost anything. As an example, if I saw a heavy object , like a car, I feel like I could pick up and overturn it. Somehow, my perception of a "heavy car" goes away. Also the size of an object, like an SUV, seems to shrink a little when I look at it.

Last Saturday, this feeling of being "strong" happened again after our Pao Chui session. I felt like I could make a hole if I punch this wall near our training area.

So I asked Teacher about this weird feeling. He said it means that I've had a good workout. Then he smiled and went to see another student.

analects

I'm taking this class, Chinese Religion. One of the required books to read is Confucius Analects. Here's one of its many interesting passages:

14.5 Nangong Kuo said to Confucius, “Yi was a skillful archer, and Ao was a powerful naval commander, and yet neither of them met a natural death. Yu and Hou Ji, on the other hand, did nothing but personally tend to the land, and yet they both ended up with possession of the world."

The Master did not answer.

After Nangong Kuo left, the Master sighed, “ What a gentlemanly person that man is! How he reveres Virtue!”

trees and vines

Two Saturdays ago, Teacher assigned individual assignments. The assignment consists of a group of movements taken from the Pao Chui form. More or less, each person has a different assignment.

Last Saturday, I showed Teacher my understanding of my assignment. Teacher then corrected me by showing me with his hands the wringing action applied to an object, like a piece of cloth. He also showed me that its action is one direction, not bent all over. He said to relax the shoulders. He showed me that the whole movement must be synchronized, not broken into pieces. Then off he went to see another student.

So I reflected on what Teacher said. After minutes of working out, I somehow started thinking about vines, and how they spiral during growth. I then started thinking about trees, and how the branches extend from the trunk. Then the life cycle of trees. Then the soft sprouts and the hard bark. The leaves facing the sun. The roots extending deep and across the ground. And so on.

Then I executed the whole Pao Chui form again, with the trees and vines in mind. And I felt a difference.

bricks

Yesterday, I ran for 1.2 miles. My left and right upper back hurt afterwards, with very minor intensity, but it was annoying enough. My back pain persisted throughout the day. I kept on massaging my back and relaxing my shoulders whenever I felt the pain. This morning when I woke up, the pain was all gone.

Monday, I tried circlewalking on bricks. I have these extra 5x12 bricks in the backyard. I laid eight of them on the ground, in a circular formation. I was extra careful since I’ve never done this with circlewalking before and I don’t want to get injured. The whole experience was very different compared to walking on flat asphalt ground. More concentration and awareness are needed on the bricks. I did the internal palms in a very, very, very slow pace. I felt like a baby trying to walk the first time again. I was sweating a lot in the end.

Last Saturday, everyone was surprised with my new haircut that most people never recognized me. Two Mondays ago, I had my hair cut very short. Before that, it used to be shoulder length. I maintained my long hair for more than two years. Regarding my practice, my hair never gets to my face anymore and my head feels lighter and cooler. Also, maybe it’s an illusion but I think I can jump higher with my short hair.

I’ve been doing extra horsestances outside the class for about three weeks now. Sometimes after the routine, my right knee feels sore. Massaging and stretching relieves the soreness. I probably still have to work on my right leg alignment.

horse stance

Yin Yuzhang (Yin Fu's 4th son) in a horse stance

Last Saturday, Teacher recommended that I should do more horse stances. He made his first comment when we were doing the hose stances in the Pao Chiu form. He made his second comment when we were doing the two-man form. My 2.4 miles Friday run definitely affected my Saturday practice. I seemed to be weaker. So my goal for this week is more horse stances and no Friday running.

Sunday morning in the backyard, I did 2 sets of horse stances in the Pao Chui form, holding each stance for 1 minute. Then I did the whole 64 form without pausing. I felt the usual strain in the thigh and calf muscles. My whole legs were burning and shaking. In the end, my whole shirt was soaking wet. The neighbors were probably wondering what I was doing.

Here's He Jinghan's article on horse stance.

Last Saturday, one of my brothers mentioned about noticing the form creeping into his daily life. He said he went to pick something up from the floor and noticed that he was doing a horse stance. I also have similar experiences. Just as simple as opening a door, for example. I grip the handle of the door, I open the door towards me and I end up with the reverse bow and arrow stance. And if the door opens away from me, I end up doing the single palm.

Even interacting with people seems to be different nowadays. I seem to be more open and non-judgemental to ideas. I can see the argument of the other side easier. I also see people's postures, their turtle backs and tight shoulders, and how it affects their walking, and their lives. Several months ago, I told my wife that her shoulders were too high all the time. She told me yesterday that she did not notice it until she saw herself in a mirror the other day while pushing the baby stroller.

Teacher said that "Bagua is about change. We don't change for the worst. We change for the better."

clouds in the sky

The other night, my daughter discovered my race bike. When left standing by the wall, it's not the most stable thing in the world. That's because I took out the stand to be more lightweight. And, of course, it looks cooler without it. So after turning the bike upside-down for Isa's safety, she started playing with the wheels. Then she started playing with the pedals. Then she saw me press one of the brake handles to stop the rear wheel, so she started playing with that, too.

That got me thinking about the level of my practice compared to Teacher's. I'm still a baby trying to circlewalk the right way. My legs are still unstable. Teacher once said to be “steady like the clouds in the sky when circlewalking.” Whenever I do the horse stance, even though I can go lower now, my legs still wobble.

Like my daughter playing with my bike, I still have a long way to go.

everything in agreement

I ran for 1.2 miles this morning. Maris and Isa were with me, too. Maris took care of Isa. She ran/walked while Isa was on the stroller. It was a short run but I got to hang out with my family, which is more important. So I still have plenty of energy in my reserve. As I am typing this journal right now, I can still feel the tingling sensation in my legs from this morning's run.

The truth is a part of me did not want to run today. I woke up right before 8 am. Isa woke up right after I got out of the main bedroom, which was a little after 8. Then we greeted Maris as she was trying to get in the front door. So how did I end up running? Somehow there was a general election that happened in me, and the winning party was the Run-You-Lazy-Bum Party.

Now, I have a little bit of runny nose. I probably forced myself too much. My Anti-Run body cells are massively protesting in my nasal area. I hope I don't get sick as a result of this. I remember Teacher has this notion of not forcing things. We must always make sure that everything is in agreement before commiting. The same princliple is applied in circlewalking. The left foot needs to be planted first before the right foot can leave the ground, and vice-versa. Otherwise, the whole body becomes unstable.

I still have to learn how to listen to my body. Sometimes my mind forces my body the wrong way that I end up getting sick. Nowadays, I kind of know my limits, but sometimes I'm too stubborn and I stop listening, which is really bad.

jogging

I jogged yesterday 8 am for 30 minutes, and covered 2.4 miles. I walked the last quarter mile. My lungs were okay after the run. My legs got tired first. It was also hot and humid outside. I mostly went under the tree shades whenever I could find one.

I started jogging again last week to prepare for my company's 5K run. JPMorganChase sponsored it, which is located in Morristown, NJ. I finished the race with run time of 43:13 minutes. Not bad for a 34 year old guy who trained 2 days before the race. Nevertheless, I finished without injuries. That's the most important thing.

Jogging seems to help strengthen my legs. Last Saturday, I've noticed that my horse stance was better. So I'll try jogging twice a week, whenever I can. We'll see later what happens in the long run.

So far I have observed that the more time and effort I devote into my practice, the more life's mysteries start to unfold. Rewards then appear, but I try not dwell on them. This reminds me of the book, Tao Te Ching.

-1-
The Tao that can be spoken of is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Send your desires away and you will see the mystery.
Be filled with desire and you will see only the manifestation.
As these two come forth they differ in name.
Yet at their source they are the same.
This source is called a mystery.
Darkness within darkness, the gateway to all mystery.

feel the mud

Yesterday, we made our own circlewalking circle. We've been doing this exercise for a month now. Before that, we used to circlewalk as a group. Two or three groups, at the most. With a group, you have to match your pace with the other people, and vice-versa. With your own circle there's just yourself to deal with.

So we all started our individual circlewalking. Teacher said to do the internal palms. When it came to do the heart palm, I started feeling that tingling sensation on my forearms. Whenever they're raised, the sensation is there. I've felt this for several years now, but I never bothered to ask Teacher about it. I've always thought my arms were loosing blood circulation. Later on, during one of our group get-together sessions I asked him about it. He said not to dwell on it. The hands will feel hot and the tingling sensation will be there, but do not dwell on them. He said to just keep practicing.

After a few minutes of our individual circlewalking, it's inspection time. First, he went to see my brothers on the right. Then, he went to see me. For some time, he looked at what I was doing. He did not say anything. He then demonstrated how to walk his version. He looked like he was marching and sitting at the same time, with knees raised higher than usual. So I tried his way.

After several tries I felt like I'm walking in liquid. It felt like there's something under my feet, and it's there everytime I raise my knees. Initially, I thought of it like walking on a hump. Thinking more about it now, it's like having two fair sized magnets trying to attach their same poles and feel them repel each other. With my newly modified circlewalking, it felt like there was a repelling force under my feet.

When the class was finished, I asked Teacher about my new experience. At first, he thought I was trying to confuse him. Then I did a few more explanation and clarification. He then said I should feel like I'm walking on mud. Walking on mud. He made this comment several times before but it did not register to me. The feeling itself is like walking on mud. You do not have to pretend that there's a mud. It just comes to you. If you do it right, you will feel the mud.

pain and injuries

"Either move correctly, or don't do it at all" - Mr. Tu

My right knee is bothering me today. It's been bothering me since Saturday. Normally, I get this pinching pain once in a while, and then it goes away. Inside my patella, I think that's where the pain is coming from. It's probably the way I place or rotate my knees during practice. Plus, I've been practicing more outside the class. I did some last Sunday and Monday. I also did some this morning. It seems to feel better today, though, compared to last Monday. I'll just take it easy tomorrow. My right knee definitely needs some rest.

Also, last Saturday, my teacher gave me this belt that he's not using anymore. It's soOoOOo much better than the one I have. This new belt is wider, about 4-5 inches in length. And it's thicker, too. It seems to help my back a lot more. My upper back pain, on the immediate left side of my spine, in the thoracic area, seems to have lessen after using the belt.

how to walk the circle

Imagine a growing tree.
Its leaves and branches swaying with the wind.
Trunk, solid and round.
Roots spread throughout the ground.

Imagine a crane walking in the mud.
The steadiness of its body.
The movement of the knees.
The movement of the feet.

Imagine a baby learning how to walk.
Attention and concentration.
Movement from left foot to right foot.
Shifting the weight.

Imagine a person meditating.
Relaxed breathing and fully aware.
Chin in; back stacked and relaxed.
As if a string is pulling the center of the crown.

Imagine a person sitting without a chair.
Butt is smooth and round, but not sticking out.
Feet are in line with the thighs.
Relaxed from waist up.

introduction

"Think about the principle!" - Mr. Tu

I've been practicing Yin Fu Bagua Quan for two years now. Last May 2005 was the start of my third year training. Even now, I am still learning to circle walk the right way. I don’t know if I’ll ever learn. Eventually, I guess. There are important details I am aware of but do not fully understand: breathing, posture, awareness and stepping, to mention a few. The goal is that all these details should be in harmony. They are all interdependent of each other. All must function as one.