feel the mud

Yesterday, we made our own circlewalking circle. We've been doing this exercise for a month now. Before that, we used to circlewalk as a group. Two or three groups, at the most. With a group, you have to match your pace with the other people, and vice-versa. With your own circle there's just yourself to deal with.

So we all started our individual circlewalking. Teacher said to do the internal palms. When it came to do the heart palm, I started feeling that tingling sensation on my forearms. Whenever they're raised, the sensation is there. I've felt this for several years now, but I never bothered to ask Teacher about it. I've always thought my arms were loosing blood circulation. Later on, during one of our group get-together sessions I asked him about it. He said not to dwell on it. The hands will feel hot and the tingling sensation will be there, but do not dwell on them. He said to just keep practicing.

After a few minutes of our individual circlewalking, it's inspection time. First, he went to see my brothers on the right. Then, he went to see me. For some time, he looked at what I was doing. He did not say anything. He then demonstrated how to walk his version. He looked like he was marching and sitting at the same time, with knees raised higher than usual. So I tried his way.

After several tries I felt like I'm walking in liquid. It felt like there's something under my feet, and it's there everytime I raise my knees. Initially, I thought of it like walking on a hump. Thinking more about it now, it's like having two fair sized magnets trying to attach their same poles and feel them repel each other. With my newly modified circlewalking, it felt like there was a repelling force under my feet.

When the class was finished, I asked Teacher about my new experience. At first, he thought I was trying to confuse him. Then I did a few more explanation and clarification. He then said I should feel like I'm walking on mud. Walking on mud. He made this comment several times before but it did not register to me. The feeling itself is like walking on mud. You do not have to pretend that there's a mud. It just comes to you. If you do it right, you will feel the mud.